Let go and live!

Today was another exhausting day. First period I had Guitar, in which we got a new piece of music. The class sight read it, and I did a respectable job of keeping up! Next class was math, in which we worked in groups to prepare for the exam next week (which I am not writing, thank jesus). I worked with one of my friends and a new girl I have never met before. This was the first time I didn't feel like a parasite, and I felt like I had something to give back. I told them about how the schools in winnipeg were different, and they went through my FSL notebook and laughed at all the mistakes my teacher had made in the notes. It was a good conversation, and I feel like I am finally starting to establish friendships. In my math class at the beginning of the week, my teacher writes all the birthdays on the board, mine was not up there just because none of my information is really in the school system and I didn't say anything, just because I was too lazy, and it takes so much effort because no one understand me when I spell my name. Today though, I had my agenda open and my birthday was marked. One of the girls in the class saw and wrote in on the board (and it took her 4 tries to get it right. I have so much difficulty saying the letter "R" in french!). I must admit it felt really nice to have someone care, and put in the effort! A little thing she probably won't even remember in her day, but it made mine. The same girl also said she couldn't believe how good my french was! Maybe I am better than i thought! I am still hoping to wake up one morning with perfect french. (god, if you're reading this, tomorrow is my birthday, so tomorrow would be a good morning for that to happen)

At lunch today was volleyball, which sucked. It was mostly younger kids, so most of the points were earned by missed serves. A boy on my team talked to me a lot, i think he was giving me advice, but he was so terrible at volleyball, I didn't really know what to think or how to react....

After lunch I had a "spare." I say this in quotations, because they don't have spares at their school, however, there are two periods in my timetable that no classes would fit into, so I go to the library. I just went on facebook for an hour, it was nice! It was so difficult to go to my next class (which was economy) though, because during my spare, my thoughts had turned to english, so it was exhausting for my brain to switch! Luckily for me, economics was uneventful and we mostly just copied notes.

This evening I went to the gym again for a run. My legs are getting used to the pattern, so the runs are getting easier, but I am still so exhausted afterwards! After the gym I practiced guitar for a bit, which I am really enjoying and talked to my mum on the telephono. I also made my mum put the reciever of the phone to my dogs ear so I could talk to him. I really wanted him to hear my voice. My mum said this was a bad idea though, because he ran around the house looking for me. I miss him a lot=( It will be hard not to be with my family on my birthday. I am a little bit anxious about my birthday tomorrow, just because I don't know what to expect. I'm sure it will be good though, and I will do my best to make it amazing because I know I am the only person with the power to make or break my day.

Before I go to bed, I am going to give you a bit of insight as to what was going on in my head today... I was thinking about all the things that hold me back in life (there are more than usual right now!) But I realized I am just ready to give everything I have to every moment of every day. I don't care if i sound stupid, I won't think about what could happen, I am just going to let go and live. This is a good place to get into that habit, because In less then 3 months, I will never see these people again. My birthday goal for tomorrow is to let go. Just be me. I miss the Carly that rawred and made hello kitty/pokemon faces. That is the Carly people love at home, so there is no reason why people won't love her here. Tomorrow, I am going to wake up singing, and go to school dancing. I am just going to let go and live!!!

Let go!!!!
Carly.

PS. For religious readers who have been missing my in/out column this week, don't worry, I have a good list, I am just too tired tonight to write it!