Holy Crap. Tomorrow.

It's times like right now, when i wonder what the fuck i have gotten myself into. The only emotions running through my head right now are fear and sadness. I just changed my phone number to a quebec area code, and that was the first time it hit me that i am leaving. I thought maybe it would hit me tomorrow in the airport, but no such luck. The fact that i'm leaving hits me harder as I vacuum my room, as i make goodbye phone calls. I prided myself on the fact that i was excited for this adventure, but i am so scared. Terrified. I cant stop tears anymore, and i am dwelling in the fact that tomorrow will be my first supper in a new place. Sunday will be my first breakfast, and monday will be my first day at a new school!! Today and tomorrow are a day of lasts. Last sleep, last family dinner. But Sunday and monday are days of firsts. I need to understand and appreciate that the lasts are not forever. I will be back, but the firsts are firsts. So the firsts need to be weighed heavier than the lasts. I need to be more excited than upset. I'm trying my best, but you have no idea how hard it is to leave behind everything. My family, my friends, my dog. I will miss them so much. I know i will be okay though. In my heart of hearts, i know that this will be the adventure, change and time for growth that i crave from life.

Everything is going to be okay.

One breath, one step at a time.

Carly