Cadet Carly

The past couple days have been rather uneventful. I have been running everyday. I am going hardcore for the marathon. At my gym, the make a specialized program for your needs. The trainer said she was going to work every muscle in my legs with weight training and holy crap, she was not kidding. I can barely walk. It feels good though, and training gives me something to look forward to to and motivate me. During the evenings this week, I've gone shopping (big purchase: a new belt for 1.99) and played board games with the family, which is fun! Time this week has gone by so fast, and I am glad I have another week off of school, because I am not really looking forward to going back.
I've also watched a lot of movies in French, it helps so much. I feel like I am almost at the point where language is not a problem anymore. Almost. That will be tested this weekend, when I go to Cadet Camp with Julie.

We leave tonight for 40 hours of Camp. I am so scared. I get homesick really fast, and not for my family, per se, but for a Home in general. Right now this is my home, and I am quite content just to run and play games all day. This camp is so far out of my comfort zone, and I know I will be pushed in so many ways. To my understanding, we will be playing outdoor sports most of the time, because next weekend is the Cadet Games, with all the cadets from Quebec. We will be practiving for the games a lot this weekend, because they take the Cadet Games really seriously. Unfortunatley, It is currently pouring rain,So this weekend should be very... wet. It is going to be weird to be totally submerged in French all weekend. There is no escaping to my laptop or sneaking english TV. It is full-on french, so it will really test how much I've improved. I am kind of excited though, because I really like all the people in Cadets, so this could be a really good opportunity to get to know them and establish myself.

Tomorrow will mark one-quarter of the way done my trip, and I can't believe it. That is exciting, because this first quarter has gone by relitivley fast and easy. In the back of my mind though, I am kind of worried that 9 weeks is not enough time to become absolutley fluent, which I want so badly. I just need to make the most of every second I have here. This weekend is going to be really hard, but I have nothing to lose by going, and everything to gain. I am just going to try my best to have fun, and make some friends!

Right now, I am going to go study all the important french I will need to know this weekend, because (*gasp*) I am not bringing my dictionary! (Unfortunatley, there isn't enough room in my bag). I am so nervous, but I need to go into this with a super positive attitude!!! (OH!! Also, super fortunate for me, we don't need to bring our uniforms this weekend! *Thank you Jesus*)

Wish me luck,
Carly.

Miracle in Quebec City.

Okay, so you know how I was praying to one day wake up and be brilliant in french????????
That didn't quite happen... but it was close enough to make me super happy!
I woke up this morning and watched a movie in french. I also put on french subtitles, which helped so much. Being able to see and hear the words at the same time made me understand the majority of the movie!
After that I studied french for a number of hours. Reviewed all my notes from grade ten, and brushed up on all the stuff I had forgotten. To finish off, I wrote a journal entry in french summarizing my birthday! (I'm not sure about the spelling, but the thing we cooked dinner on for my birthday is called a "raclette")
This evening I read some Twilight, which I understand an amazingly awesome amount of, and watched "la fievre de la danse" (so you think you can dance!) with Julie's older sister. We actually had such a good conversation, and laughed so hard! I understood so much, and I feel so good about it!!! I also talked to my new mum about insurance cards, and I understood!
YAAAYYY!! I am actually so happy right now! Tomorrow, I am going to study a lot more, and by the time I go back to school, french will be a piece of cake!!
I know I have said this about a billion times before... but I am getting the hang of this. I did all my laundry and washed my sheets today, and doing stuff like that makes me so happy. It's what I do at home, and I am so content to do it here. (PS... I think I might be falling in love with "Parisiean" Fabric softner.....) Tomorrow I am going to head to the gym and study some more. I am also going to watch another movie. At home, spending the morning watching movies is such a waste of time, but here, I actually learn so much!
I got a package from home today with my clarinet, shoes, pyjama t-shirts, marble cheese and nutella! It was so nice to get some things from home to make me feel more at home here. Things this week are going exactly as planned for this week, and I hope my miracle will continue for many more days to come!!!!!

Making my Miralce,
Carly

Cravings....

Right now, I feel very content and at home. Today I just had the kind of day I would have had if I were at home. I had a bath, ran 6 miles at the gym, read some twilight, had a nap and then watched a movie. I don't know why, but I just found reassurance in all those things, and they made me feel happy and content. The only thing I could ask for would be popcorn and ripple chips. I am craving these so badly, and a little indulgence would be greatly appreciated by whatever part of the body is capable of giving me such cravings (I suppose that would be my brain... ). I can feel little bits of my personality coming back to life... I sing a lot and I have started scheming again. At home, I always have some big plan in the works. I have now started making plans for the future like I would at home. I walked to the gym today, and it was nice to have the freedom to come and go as I please. It is really bizarre, because the more I accept this as my life now, the less I think of home. But, at the same time, when I do think of home, I miss it double. It is just little things, like the scent of the bathroom that I am finally getting used to. Every time I smell it, i smile, but then I think of home and feel almost guilty. I know I have no reason to feel Guilty though, this is my time and I am going to make the most of it.

Speaking of making the most of my time, my plan for tomorrow is to study french. I now know which parts of the language I am still not really understanding, and tomorrow I am going to master them. I didn't really speak too much today, but I want to go back to school in two weeks time as a french master. I am getting the hang of it, but I want to be able to communicate fluently so badly! When I go back to school I will have been here for a month, and after a month I should be fully on my feet. This means I need to make my own friends, and stop relying on Julie for everything. I think it will be really nice to have this time off and find myself, get the language going, and then go back to school ready to take on anything!

Oh! By the way, here is my updated In/Out list...

IN
* Skate Brands (they are waaay more popular here than they are at home. Nikita is especially dominant.)
* One half of your hair pinned back
* Hair ribbons
* Birthdays! (Fortunately for me last week, everybody sings to everybody in almost all the classes, and everyone says happy birthday!)
* Racerback Bras ( I think this is so stupid, but the girls actually pin their bras so it makes a racer back. You can then see their bra straps and it looks absolutely ridiculous)
* Backless T-Shirts (to show off their racerback bras....)
* Black French Manicured Nails
* Brushing your teeth at school (I went to the washroom after lunch, and there were ELEVEN girls brushing their teeth!!!)
* Sub Sandwiches ( Regular sandwiches aren't cool enough for these guys, because everyone eats their sandwiches on sub bread)
* Wearing Hats in class ( I have not yet seen a boy attempt this, but girls wear hats, no problem)

OUT
* Binders (It took me quite a while to figure out how they organize themselves.... for every class you need a textbook and a workbook. This is all they carry. Binders are extremely rare)
* Raising your hand when you have a question (you just ask it. I haven't seen one person raise their hand)
* Changing in public (In gym all the girls change in stalls. This is weird for me because I got over that phobia in like.... grade 7)
* Showing your body. (For all the tight and skank-ish clothes, actually showing skin is rare. At the gym, tank tops are prohibited. I was the only person in there wearing shorts today and in gym class everyone wears pants)

I am starting to get the hang of Quebec and I feel less and less out of my comfort zone everyday! Although I do not abide by the in/out list ( I am "foreign" so no matter what I wear, I like to think I look cool), I think I can live with just about everything here! (some ripple chips would be sooo nice though...)

Here is some Quebecois MSN slang for you.....
JTM,
Carly

(JTM = J'taime= I love you)

Week.End.

Ahh It is so nice to finally have internet! I have said before I am using such an unreliable source, and I haven't been able to get on since friday! That being said, I have a lot to sum up!

Saturday morning was cadet band. There were quite a few more people there, so it sounded a lot better than last week! We also ordered Cadet Band Sweatpants. That's right, I'm that hardcore. After that, we went into Sainte-Foy. It is the rich area of Quebec, it is so nice there! We drove past Laval university and I almost peed. It is so big, and so nice! (I would also like to mention we drove past a theatre called "Le Clap." The clap?? Chlamydia?? I had a good laugh at that...) We went into the mall in Sainte-Foy, and it is so big! There were so many stores, it was kind of overwhelming. The only thing I bought was the Twilight book in french! (called "Fascination.") I haven't started reading it yet, but I am so excited! Also in the mall, I had poutine for the first time. I never would have thought one of the best meals I have ever had in my life would come from a mall food court for $4.00. I have never tried Poutine in winnipeg, but I can guarantee you there is no way It could be as good as this poutine. Pure Jesus. Soooo good. I think if I had the sources to eat poutine every meal for every day, I would be the fattest woman alive, I wouldn't be able to stop!

After the mall, Julie, myself and our friend Emilie went to one of their cadet friends house for the evening. There were about 15 people, and we played outside all night! We skated on their backyard rink, and played volleyball in the snow. It was a lot of fun, but it was hard at the same time. Everyone there was really close, so it was difficult to establish myself in the group. It made me realize how intimidating my friends at home and I must be, because we are so close. This was one of those times I needed to take a breath and tell myself to make my own happiness. It was also hard, because there was a dog that was so similar to mine at home. It ran right up to me, and I had to walk away because I wanted to cry! Seeing it made me so homesick! Besides those things, it was a really wonderful evening. We ate hot dogs outside by the fire, and played hockey. (I honestly don't remember the last time I played hockey...) I am becoming more of an outdoors person! After most people had left, we went inside and played board games. I was so tired though, by that point I just wanted to go home!

Sunday (this) morning, Julie and I went to Emilie's house for brunch. It was splendid! There was every breakfast food you could Imagine (including beans in sauce.... i still don't understand why the french eat that for breakfast. It's disgusting.....) and so much of it! Afterwards, Julie, Emilie and I took an hour bus ride to a different mall. This one was as equally huge as the last one, I couldn't believe it! This one had an ice rink and ferris wheel in the middle! There were so many good stores, like H&M and Simons, again though, I was almost too overwhelmed to shop. (which is rare!) My only purchase of the day was a small twist dip cone (which i ordered myself!!!) for lunch. I also went into Joshua Perets to see what all the commotion was about. It was pretty lame and disappointing. After another hour bus ride home, we went back home for my birthday supper!

My birthday supper was absolutely lovely! I don't remember what its called in french, and I've never heard of it in english, but for dinner, we had all these different meats and cheeses. You then put them on this little triangle shaped frying pan, onto a element pan type thing for a few minutes, and it cooks it perfectly! It was so good, and so much fun to make! Apparently, it is really popular in Quebec, but i have never seen it in Winnipeg. We all ate so much, and after dinner we went and worked it off on the Wii. We played this skiing game, and I ended up doing the course backwards. I don't think I have ever laughed so hard in my life! Afterwards, we went and had the most absolutely delicious cake for dessert! Chocolate truffle with a hazelnut and cookie base. My birthday dinner was so special, and I just felt so happy and loved!! After desert, Julie and her sisters studied for exams this week, while Emilie and I watched "Sydney White", which was really funny! Because next week is exam week, and the week after is spring break, I have two weeks off starting tomorrow! Because this weekend was so busy, I am grateful to have the day off tomorrow to relax!

It was very nice to be so social and active this weekend. It was hard though, because I kept thinking "oh, if so-and-so were here, I'd do this!" I am still trying to let the real Carly come through here, but it is so hard to be yourself, when the people and places you built yourself around are gone. Tonight was good though. I laughed a lot and bonded with the family. I just need to be able to interact with other people like that, and make my own friends. I hope over my break from school, my french will improve a lot, and I can go back to school prepared to make friends! I have officially been here two weeks now, and for two weeks, I am proud of how well I have done - i still have a long way to go though. I know I can do it!!

Hakunna Matata,
Carly

HardCore.

Again this week, I have been thanking god it's friday all day! My time here is going by so fast, but at the same time so slow!! It's weird, because when I first got here, all I thought about was going home and now, it barely even crosses my mind in a day. Speaking of days, today was an easy one. I had art first period this morning, but my partner wasn't here. I feel kind of bad, but I used the time alone to take the project in the direction I wanted it to go in. The teacher told me it was good, and I am happy with it! Next class I had guitar, which I always enjoy but I had an especially good time today. The boy who sits beside me teases me so much, he was the one who originally said I looked egyptian, and he always speaks to me in spanish as a joke. Today he spoke to me in made up sign-language, and I spoke right back! He then serenaded me by singing in english and playing along on the guitar. I laughed so hard, it was so funny!

Lunch today was volleyball which was non-descript, as was my afternoon. Both Math and English were spent preparing for exams next week, so I had the time to do what I wanted. Since exams are all next week, and the week after is spring break, I have two weeks of off school! If I were at home, this would thrill me to death, but I am honestly a little bit nervous that with all that free time on my hands, I will get homesick.

After school today, I went with Julie to cadets. Holy Crap. Last week was the valentines dance, so it was cute and fun. This week was uniform checking, boot shining hard core. We were sitting in a class for attendance, and when the uniform inspector came to check everybody, a boy with hair that touched his ears actually put a bag in front of his head!! We then went into small groups for lessons. I was with three boys about my age. The commander told them to be quiet and one of them laughed, so they had to stand facing the wall in silence for three minutes. We then had a lesson on how to read and identify magnetic fields on a map. I didn't understand much. And then, the worst part of my day. The drama queen in me wants to say it was the worst part of my life, but I know thats not true, I got a uniform. It is horrifyingly terrible. I have one pair of black army boots, and one pair of army issued runners. Wool socks, and unisex blue trousers, A blue dress shirt and jacket and a hat that looks like a canoe to top it all off. I almost cried. Cadets tonight was sooooo far out of my comfort zone. There is nothing appealing to me about standing in a line getting yelled at in french! I know I have the power to make this into a good experience, so that is what I am trying to do. Less than three months and I never have to wear that stupid hat again! The people in cadets are so friendly though, and I love the band, so I have a lot to gain. Also, next weekend is cadet camp. 40 hours of the "Cadet cup" games. I am on the snow soccer team. Woot Woot. I am not really sure what to expect, but I love the people, so Im sure it will be fun. Speaking of things to look forward to, I have a big weekend coming up. Tomorrow is band, and then I am going to eat the infamous Quebec poutine! On sunday one of my friends is having brunch, and then we are going to see this famous waterfall. Sunday is also my birthday dinner! I stayed up late tonight watching "the house bunny" with Julie, and I have to be up early for band, so I will be so tired! Oh well, I have two weeks to recouperate! I've got to milk the NOW for what it's worth!!

Milking the Now,
Carly.

17 years in 12 days.

Over almost 17 years, I had grown into the person I was on the morning of Feb. 7, 09. Over the past 12 days, I feel like I have become a different person. Maybe "different" is the wrong word. It's not like I've changed dramatically, but my views on life have. I don't even know if I can say that.... Things that I've always known are now shining in a different light. I feel like the day I got here I started from one years old in life experience, to 17 years today. I know so many different things already and appreciate things so much differently. Here is what 17 years of life experience (mostly the past 12 days) has taught me.

The World Is a Beautiful Place.
* Never ever forget that. The world and the people in it have so much to offer us. Assume the best in people, because I've learned that the time will come when you would crawl across glass to have them assume the best in you. Don't give up on people, give people a chance, they can teach you more than any textbook can.

No One is Perfect.
* Embrace who you are. When you die, what will people remember?? At your funeral, they won't say "oh... she was a size 24." or "she failed the grade 12 english exam." They will celebrate the person you were and the things you achieved. Don't sweat the small stuff!

You Control Your Own Happiness
* If you want it to be a good day, it will be. You have the power to look at the bright side of every situation. You need to make opportunities for yourself. It would be nice if people always asked you to sit with them at lunch, but you need to take the initiative and responsibility for your own happiness.

Being "Mature" Doesn't mean...
*you can't act like a baby lion, can't laugh hysterically at stupid jokes, can't find joy in rainbows and butterflies, can't cry, can't dance with your best friends and maracas when you get excited, or you can't wrestle with your dog. It is okay to find joy in the small things in life.

Celebrate Small Successes
*When this life is so hard, milk every success for everything it is worth!

You Can Have Anything you Want
* Nothing is impossible. Put your mind to something and make it happen. You control your life, make it what you want.

You Have the Strength
* The power to overcome anything is inside you. Your family and friends have put the strength there through years of encouragement and love. Tap into that love when you need to. Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

RAKs are the Way to Live.
* Random Acts of Kindness. Love Rocks in Mailboxes, smiles in the hall, a high five after an awesome serve. Just as you have the power to make your own happiness, you have the power to contribute to the happiness of others. A smile costs you nothing to give, but trust me, it can be all someone needs to make it through the day. We have so much to give back. Give every part of yourself to the world.

Don't Be Afraid.
* Let go of your fears. Breathe in. Breathe out. You can do anything. GO FOR IT! What is so important that it's holding you back??? The thoughts of others, your insecurities? Sorry, but those aren't important enough to stand in the way of the person you were born to be.

Be Passionate
* Anything you do, give it everything you have. Passion is what drives life. Throw yourself out there and love and live like you mean it!!!

After 17 years, this is what I have taken from life. I believe in the world, and I believe in myself. I can do anything. I feel like when I arrived in Quebec I started as a child again, I had to adjust to a new family, make new friends, adjust to a different lifestyle, learn a new language and find my self-confidence. I can now say I am a confident and Happy 17 year old.

Now that I have summarized for you what I have taken from the last 17 years of life, I will tell you about my day! Unfortunately for me, it started out horribly. Since I got here I have really struggled with having nightmares. I haven't once slept through the night, and last night was no exception. I think I can probably say that last night I had the worst dream I have ever had in my life. I woke up this morning and felt like I needed to get out of my room as fast as I could, and in the process I knocked over all my jewelry, my camera, and my laptop. I then remembered it was my birthday and i decided today was going to be a possum day, so I made myself Nutella and bananas on toast for breakfast!

For my birthday today, God decided that instead of making me a french master, he was going to make it snow a foot. This was super enjoyable (voice dripping with sarcasm) on the walk to school. On the way to school, we had to walk through snow that, not a word of exaggeration, was up to my hips. I was sad, because I was wearing my favorite outfit today (my orange dress and plaid scarf with leggings!) and I was all wet when I got to school! ( I know now why "egg/emu" boots are on the out list. They're not practical for this weather) Everyone I saw in the hall this morning said Happy Birthday. I don't know how they knew, but it was very sweet!

We played volleyball first class in gym, and my suspicions were confirmed that I am respectably good. I pretty much pwned everyone in my class, and I accidently served way out of the court, and my gym teacher went "whoooaa, cannon!". After class I walked into the hall, and my entire class sang to me. =)
Next class in math, my class sang to me again, and we went into groups to study. Since I have nothing to study, I wrote a story about me and my two friends. It was about us defeating the evil math monster (drawings included!), but made them laugh so hard and we had a good time!

The highlight of my lunch today was that a bought a cookie from the cafeteria. It was my birthday cookie. Everyone went to math help at lunch today, and there was no volleyball, so I decided to go to the library. **side note: They have huge speakers on the main floor, and everyday at lunch they blast dance music! Weird, eh??** The library was a bad idea. I got yelled at for checking my email on the computer, and again for having my purse with me. Sorry?? How the heck am I supposed to know you're not allowed to bring purses to the library????

After Lunch I had Technical art, in which I started making my Plexiglas skateboard. Exciting!! After that I had french, in which the teacher handed back work. Remember how a while ago I said I handed in my first composition that was like 3 sentences long? Well, i got 80% on those 3 sentences!! Yay! Small successes baby!

After school today I went to the gym for a session in which a trainer made a personal workout for me. I kind of felt like I was cheating because she spoke english with me. She was speaking french, and she could tell I didn't really understand. She said it was really important i understood how to do everything correctly, so I figured it was okay to cheat this once.
After that, I came home and the family sang happy birthday to me, and gave me a lovely gift! It is a beautiful jewelry stand in the shape of a woman who is wearing a very ornate gown. All the girls in the family have one, so I was very excited to receive it!! They also gave me so mitt warmers in the shape of the snowman who is the spokesman for Carnivale! We are doing my birthday dinner on sunday, so I still have that to look forward to!
Also, tonight one of my french friends phoned me to say happy birthday!! I cannot even tell you how happy and loved this made me feel. It was such a small thing, but I almost cried. I felt so accepted and loved, and I am realizing how much people care!!

I am so proud of who I am and who I am becoming. In twelve days of my life, I have accomplished so much and grown so much. I can't wait t see what the next few months have in store for me!

17 years of Love,
Carly

Let go and live!

Today was another exhausting day. First period I had Guitar, in which we got a new piece of music. The class sight read it, and I did a respectable job of keeping up! Next class was math, in which we worked in groups to prepare for the exam next week (which I am not writing, thank jesus). I worked with one of my friends and a new girl I have never met before. This was the first time I didn't feel like a parasite, and I felt like I had something to give back. I told them about how the schools in winnipeg were different, and they went through my FSL notebook and laughed at all the mistakes my teacher had made in the notes. It was a good conversation, and I feel like I am finally starting to establish friendships. In my math class at the beginning of the week, my teacher writes all the birthdays on the board, mine was not up there just because none of my information is really in the school system and I didn't say anything, just because I was too lazy, and it takes so much effort because no one understand me when I spell my name. Today though, I had my agenda open and my birthday was marked. One of the girls in the class saw and wrote in on the board (and it took her 4 tries to get it right. I have so much difficulty saying the letter "R" in french!). I must admit it felt really nice to have someone care, and put in the effort! A little thing she probably won't even remember in her day, but it made mine. The same girl also said she couldn't believe how good my french was! Maybe I am better than i thought! I am still hoping to wake up one morning with perfect french. (god, if you're reading this, tomorrow is my birthday, so tomorrow would be a good morning for that to happen)

At lunch today was volleyball, which sucked. It was mostly younger kids, so most of the points were earned by missed serves. A boy on my team talked to me a lot, i think he was giving me advice, but he was so terrible at volleyball, I didn't really know what to think or how to react....

After lunch I had a "spare." I say this in quotations, because they don't have spares at their school, however, there are two periods in my timetable that no classes would fit into, so I go to the library. I just went on facebook for an hour, it was nice! It was so difficult to go to my next class (which was economy) though, because during my spare, my thoughts had turned to english, so it was exhausting for my brain to switch! Luckily for me, economics was uneventful and we mostly just copied notes.

This evening I went to the gym again for a run. My legs are getting used to the pattern, so the runs are getting easier, but I am still so exhausted afterwards! After the gym I practiced guitar for a bit, which I am really enjoying and talked to my mum on the telephono. I also made my mum put the reciever of the phone to my dogs ear so I could talk to him. I really wanted him to hear my voice. My mum said this was a bad idea though, because he ran around the house looking for me. I miss him a lot=( It will be hard not to be with my family on my birthday. I am a little bit anxious about my birthday tomorrow, just because I don't know what to expect. I'm sure it will be good though, and I will do my best to make it amazing because I know I am the only person with the power to make or break my day.

Before I go to bed, I am going to give you a bit of insight as to what was going on in my head today... I was thinking about all the things that hold me back in life (there are more than usual right now!) But I realized I am just ready to give everything I have to every moment of every day. I don't care if i sound stupid, I won't think about what could happen, I am just going to let go and live. This is a good place to get into that habit, because In less then 3 months, I will never see these people again. My birthday goal for tomorrow is to let go. Just be me. I miss the Carly that rawred and made hello kitty/pokemon faces. That is the Carly people love at home, so there is no reason why people won't love her here. Tomorrow, I am going to wake up singing, and go to school dancing. I am just going to let go and live!!!

Let go!!!!
Carly.

PS. For religious readers who have been missing my in/out column this week, don't worry, I have a good list, I am just too tired tonight to write it!

The power of a "cheesy" smile.

I am so exhausted after today! It was actually such a good day! I feel like I am falling into a pattern and forming a routine I can live with. First class today was math. We had a test. It was a bit of a disaster for me, I will actually be very surprised if I got over 15% correct. I came into that class in the middle of a unit, so I didn't know half the stuff, and the test was in french, so It took me a lot longer than normal to figure out what the question wanted. Luckily for me, I am not here to earn credits, and my marks here couldn't matter less. My next class was the new one I am now taking, Technical Art. This class ended up being really good. It is like a drafting class, and we use those cute tables and tall chairs in which my feet don't touch the floor! I am in this class with kids a lot younger than me. Maybe 14 or 15? They were the nicest and most welcoming people I have met so far though! You know how before I said that I wished someone would go out of their way to be kind to me? There were three girls in this class that came up to me, helped me get started on my project (which is a pexi-glass mini-skateboard) and sat with me the whole class answering my questions and helping me out! It was so kind, and I was so glad they were they to help me and talk to me! They really did go out of their way to help me. I will never underestimate the power of a smile in the hall or a friendly face. It might just be all someone needs to make it through the day =).

Volleyball at lunch today was really fun again. I am getting good enough to be taken seriously. I only missed one overhand serve today! But I am finally starting to feel like me. I cheer for everyone, dance and give lots of high fives! After Lunch, I had french class. Today we had to read an article on the pig industry and answer questions on it. Unfortunatley for me, we could not work in partners, and I had a really hard time! My final class of the day was art, in which we continued working on our paintings in partners. Today I decided I was going to take the initiative to get to know my partener better, and it worked! She doesnt really like art, but she loves drama, so we had a lot to talk about! Our painting is going okay too. It is not the direction I would have taken it in if i were by myself, but I am having fun and making friends, so it does'nt matter!

After school today, I had a Jesus run at the gym, and then just poked around the house. I got an awesome letter in the mail that made my life, and completed all my french goals for today! I told a story about my art class, how I used to be a synchronized swimmer, and I studied my verbs! I also got a mini-lesson at the supermarket on all the kinds of cheese the french eat. They have about a zillion kinds,, but no marble! They eat cheese a lot....fancier than we do. It's not just something to throw on a sandwhich. I tried this weird looking cheese that you put in the microwave, and it was so good I could have died!! Today was a really good day, and I feel like I am progressing! I hope things will keep going this well for the rest of the week!

Never underestimate the power of your smile,
Carly.

Monday Monday.

Today was a really good day! I got my new timetable, but it is pretty much the same. Instead of esl classes, I am now taking another art course! Tomorrow is my first day and I hope it will be fun. This is also the first class I don't think I'll know any people in, so that will be a challenge. Today it seemed like everyone was just in a goofy mood. In Volleyball at Lunch, I had a a lot of fun. I laughed and talked to people, and besides the fact I got hit in the face with a ball, I am getting pretty good! In Economics, we were talking about housing prices, and my teacher asked me how much my house was worth. Unfortunately, I had absolutely no idea! Later in that class, we got into groups to work. Everyone in my group was just laughing and being silly. I have no idea what they were laughing at, but it was nice to laugh along with them.

Tonight, I went to the gym and got that whole fiasco sorted out, so i am now a member of energiecardio gym. So exciting.... haha, it is something to look forward to and pass the time. I was in such a good mood after that It was just the icing on my cake when I received an early birthday present from home: A chocolate kiss for everyday I am away from home! It really puts in perspective how little time I am here for. Tonight I also practiced the guitar a lot, and I am finally starting to get the hang of it! If only my french would improve as quickly!! I feel like I was improving so fast, but have now come to a halt! I am hoping that one morning, in a week or two, I will wake up and everything will just click! I was encouraged today when I talked to a girl who went on a 3 month exchange to germany not knowing how to speak german! She said by the end of three months though, she was almost fluent! I know with time it will come, but to help my french progress, I have thought of some ideas to achieve my goal of becoming bilingual.

** I will have reached this goal when I can carry a conversation about anything with anyone in french.
== I can reach this goal by: Reviewing and mastering one verb in all its tenses every night.
Tell one story about my home or family every night.
Tell one story about my day every night.
Introduce myself to one new person everyday (This will also help me make friends!)
Summarize my week in a french journal on the weekends

I am a very goal oriented person, and I hope the french will click in soon! Until then, I have lots of other things to keep me busy. As I have said before, I have so much to take away from this experience, even if I don't learn any french. That is what I will focus on! The culture and the people are so different here, I want to absorb as much as I can! Speaking of absorbing culture.... The next time you are watching TV, make a mental note of how many commercials that actors do not actually say anything, it is just a narrating voice. I can guarantee any Canadian ads will have this. I know this because, they use the exact same ad, just use a french narrator in Quebec. Something so simple and clever I've never noticed before.

I have a feeling tomorrow will be a good day ( and tuesday is Taylor Swift's favorite day of the week....!)
Keeping my head up,
Carly

No Woman No Cry

Today was a day full of ups and downs. I woke up and went to the gym with my new mum, and it was such a nice gym, and I was so excited to join and be a part of something. I filed out all the forms, and the lady said "okay thats $200." I thought, thats not that bad for 3 months! She then said the remaining $400 could be paid in two separate payments.... I was so dissapointed. Now I have to try and figure out what to do, and I am so stressed. $600 for three months is so expensive! The gym is so nice though, with that money, you get sessions with a personal trainer and any of the classes the gym offers. I just need something to make me feel good and happy, and it was just a slap in the face to have this awesome thing I was excited about, but have it cost half a new computer. At least I got a good run out of today, my legs wanted it.

After the gym, I tried to get my computer hooked up to reliable internet, because right now I am using a shitty AirPort signal. We had all the software and passwords there, and again I was excited, but it just wouldn't work. I just wished so badly that something would just work. Everything here is so hard, and It would be nice if something just worked. I guess life wouldn't be fun if everything were easy. At times when I feel so frusterated, I just need to remember that I came here because I wanted a challenge from life, and thats what I'm getting. In less than 3 months, I'll be back on my good internet connection, with my own treadmill, right at home.

After dinner tonight, I practiced guitar for a little bit, and then went to go see "confessions of a shopoholic" with Julie's little sister. I actually understood a fair bit, which was exciting, but the movie just wasn't that good. Now I am getting ready for my second week of school, which I can't say I'm looking forward to. It is really depressing to know that no one could care less if I am there, if I didn't show up, I wouldn't be missed. I am just tired and frusterated. I want a hug so badly.... you have no idea how hard it is to know the only people that could give you a loving, genuine reassuring hug are thousands of miles away. I want to be here so badly, and I know that I need to make my own happiness. Things are hard, but in order to grow, I need to push down the walls that trap me. I know the strength is inside me. I have the power to make any situation into a good one, I need to always look at the bright side of things. There are so many things working against me, but I have the tools inside me to get over it. I will push down my obstacles and put myself out there. It is hard, but I can do it. That is why I am here. I need to look at tomorrow as a challenge, and a chance to grow and learn, rather than look at it as a roadblock. It would be so easy to give up. So easy to sit by myself and not even try, but I am stronger than that. I can do this. I can do this. I can do this.

On the plus side of things, I bonded with Julie today! We played wii, and laughed so hard and how silly we were! I was thinking today that this was the longest I had ever gone with out "rawr-ing" at someone, but don't worry, I broke that streak today!

No Woman No Cry,
Carly

PS. This is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life, and I realize how fortunate I am. I also realize I am not alone, everyone has some sort of struggle everyday. A moment they wish they could just go back to bed, know that you have the strength inside of you to move forward. I get through the hard moments of my day by repeating "find your strength, find your strength" to myself over and over. The strength is always there, we just need to uncover it.

The culture of the Quebecois....

I was so looking forward to a day off, but today was no such thing. I was woken up at 9:15 this morning to go to cadets band. I thought the rehearsal would be 2 or 3 hours max. It was 6. It was alot of fun though! The music is very easy compared to what I am used to, so I could sight read it almost perfectly. I enjoyed the band rehearsal, and the people were very nice and welcoming to me. I understood most of what was going on, but we didn't talk alot, we just played, which I had no problem with! The highlight of my day was probably when a boy that was probably 14 asked me what "jizz in my pants" meant. I laughed so hard! (and no, I didn't tell him what it meant) The band practices every saturday, and we have a concert at the end of march. Their concerts are very different than ours though, for one, they wear uniforms. and two, it's like a marching band, so they have coreography! We are learning this next week, so that should be interesting!

I was so exhausted after band I fell asleep on the couch reading Harry Potter, and then we had a nice dinner for valentines! I understood so much of the conversation, I was very proud of myself! It was hard to understand them because they usually speak very fast, and tonight there was wine involved, but I did a good job!

After dinner, Julie and I took the bus to the city to see the finale parade for Carnival. I had never been to a parade before, so I wasn't really sure what to expect. This parade was amazing! Everyone watching was so into it to, they were all playing plastic trumpets, cheering and dancing! The floats were huge and colorful, and the dancers were so amazing! They all had on colorful makeup and costumes, and were so full of energy! My favorite float would have to be one that was a huge bird! The front of the float was it's head, and on top of it's head was a smaller nest with three little birds in it. These birds reminded me so much of me and my brothers for some reason, and I took so many pictures! It was such an entertaining evening, and I am so glad we went! The energy and the sights and the sounds made me so happy. I honestly almost forgot I could be that happy. I never really realized it before, but I get so happy that I kind of... buzz. I feel like a radiator. There is so much happiness bent up inside me, it just radiates out of me. I never noticed it, because at home, I am that happy most of the time. I have not been that happy since I've been here, so I noticed so much when I felt like that tonight. We were walking through the back allies of quebec city on the way home, and I just felt so happy I could fly!

Tonight I also experienced the culture of the quebecois in the form of a waffle. The french eat waffles like we would eat a donut. They are baked with cinnamon and sugar, and they taste like jesus!! They are so so good! I did have to laugh tonight when Julie said she was going to show me "gaufres"- thats the word for waffle in french, but I thought she said we were going to eat gophers. I remembered that In one of the stores they were selling fur thongs and I thought, if it is the culture of the Quebecois to wear fur thongs, who's to say they don't eat gophers? But luckily for me, "gaufres" are actually tasty waffles!

Today was kind of difficult because it was valentines, and all I could think of was what i would do if I was home. I miss everything and everyone so much, but I know I just have to take things here one step at a time. I found out today I am 11% finished my journey, which I can't even believe. I just have to do this week ten times over and I am done. Considering things will only get easier, I can do that! I was so excited and felt so happy and alive tonight, I hope I can spend the majority of my time here feeling that good!

Radiating Joy,
Carly

TGIF!

Thank God It's Friday is all I really have to say. I made it through a full week of school! Today was actually one of the best days I've had so far. I wrote in my first composition in french today! We had to reflect on a newspaper article (the same one I was talking about the other day), and how our view had changed after reading it. Mine was about 5 sentences, but you have to start somewhere! Lunch today was volleyball again, and I am so sore, you wouldn't believe it! Besides the one day there is choir, Julie goes to Volleyball everyday! I'm not sure I'll be able to do that, my arms have never been worked this hard!

After Lunch we had art class, and we started a big project. We are making life size paintings of people, using colors and shapes to represent emotions. I am partnered with a girl who speaks very very fast, and I didn't understand a word she said. We decided to each draw out a rough idea of our own ideas and then compare and combine them into one good copy. This didn't really work, because I drew a person representing "confidence," and she drew a person representing "sickness." So, as you can probably guess, we had to scrap the combining idea. We ended up just creating a new person that represented "joy." It was good practice for me to make conversation with a new person, but it was really difficult to express my ideas about the project! I felt like a child, because I ended up miming or drawing my ideas. I hope this will get easier soon.

After art I went and talked to the exchange co-ordinator at the school, because he had mentioned I might be able to get into a drama class. He gave me some news I wasn't expecting though, he told me that "everything will be sorted out on monday when I get my new timetable." So, all the effort I've put in to getting settled in my classes was for nothing, because I will have a new timetable next week! I am frusterated with that, because I was finally starting to get comfortable! It could be a good thing, because right now, I am in mostly the same classes as Julie, and I lean on her so much. I feel like a parasite, because I take so much from her, but I dont really have anything to give back. I'm sure it's hard for her, and it will be good for me to be on my own.

After that conversation, I had Guitar, which I dont know if I will even remain in! I really hope I do though. I can play well enough that I can play the pieces with the class. I only played the first and third note of every bar, but again, you have to start somewhere. I enjoyed it so much. Music is something I am good at. I barely play the guitar, but I am good at thinking the way you need to think for music. I understand it so well, and that is such a nice change, because I really don't understand anything else. Something I do understand quite well though is whats in/out. Here is my continued list.....

In
*PDA's (There are couples everywhere! I saw a teacher walk right past a guy with his hand on a girls ass, making out with her hard, and he didn't say anything!!)
*Sweatpants for gym
*Super thick headbands that look like ones you would wear in the winter to keep your ears warm.
*Joshua Perets (This is a clothing brand from Montreal. It's logo is a little dog that I have seen everywhere. I just found out today what the brand was. Joshua Perets is the french equivalent to "hollister" or "abercrombie". PS, said stores didn't quite make my "out" list, but they are by no means as popular here as they are at home.)
*Oasis juice (this is the dominant brand in Quebec, for you hardcore Juice drinkers)

Out
*Spankies ( In gym, no one wears shorts higher than their knees)
*Gym runners for gym (everyone wears skateboarding runners. In my gym class me and one other girl had gym runners. and her runners were borrowed from the teacher.*** When you forget gym shoes, the teacher has a stash you an borrow from....)
*Hippie Headbands (these are soooo out. There is no way i could bring them in.)

***Fun fact for you, "salut" can be used as hello or goodbye. It is the french equivalent to "aloha!"

After dinner tonight, I went with Julie and her sisters to cadets. The first part of the evening, we just sat in groups socializing, and it was so nice. The girls from cadets are the people I met on the first night, and they are so outgoing and fun, I feel confident with them. It is such a nice change from school. The only "cadet-ish" thing I had to do was stand with my hands by my sides while they took attendance. Afterwards, there was a dance for valentines day.I cannot even explain to you how good it was! I felt so confident, and we danced so much, and had so much fun! One of the boys even told me that after one week, he could not believe how good my french was! That is something I have not heard yet! But we just danced, and communicated in ways other than speaking. We communicated with our faces and our bodies, and It just felt good to be on the same page as everyone else! It was bizzare, because most if the music is english, and everybody sings along, and it is so funny to see how they interpret the words! I'm sure they had a good laugh at me during the french songs, when everyone moved to the left, and I moved to the right! The french are also huge on organized dance... they had like 4 or 5 songs that everybody knew the dance to, and i had to catch on! At the end of the dance, we sang french-karaoke, and it was really funny!

On the car-ride home, it was really frusterating because Julie's older sister tried to ask me something, and I still had no clue what she was talking about after she rephrased the question several times. She finally just gave up. It is stuff like that in my day that makes me upset. When people give up on me is especially hard. I am here to learn, if people won't help me learn, it is so much harder!

Everyday is getting a little bit better, and spring break is just around the corner, so things are looking up!!

It's not the destination, it's the journey,
Carly

Unpacked. For Good.

Today got off to an interesting start, when I woke up, it was pouring rain! In Winnipeg i would have found this exciting and fun, but considering I have to walk to school, i did not find this weather so entertaining in Quebec. With the help of an umbrella, we made it to school dry, and i began my fourth day!

This morning started with english class, in which the class made their own crossword in english, and I made one in French. I found it discouraging when the teacher corrected mine, and almost every clue was full of mistakes. On the plus side, he said he could understand what i was saying, and why i would make those mistakes. Next class was economy, in which we took notes. Alot of notes. The class took about 6 pages, and I took about 4 because i take so much longer. I honestly had no idea what was going on in that class, or what my notes say.

At lunch, I played Volleyball again. My arms we so sore from yesterday, I couldn't believe it! Today there were more girls, but there wasn't really anytime to talk, we played for a full hour. Unfortunatley for me, and my arms, the next class was gym. I was really dreading this because I was so tired all ready, but it turned out to be really good. We started out the class by doing some basketball drills and I went with a super nice girl, who is an exchange student from germany, for a partner. We laughed alot at how bad we sucked, and had a conversation! I was super excited about this, and I hope i can make friends with her. Her french is amazing, and she has only been here for a month, so it is encouraging for me. There is hope! Also during that class, I was on a team with some girls that I talked to, and I had fun. I had a genuine laugh for the first time since i have been here.

Last class was math, and again, I am improving with talking to people and making conversation, so I am happy! I know how lame it sounds to have the highlight of my day being talking to someone in gym, but I when i first got here, I couldn't do that! Tonight I started reading the fifth Harry Potter book in french. I don't understand the whole thing, but i get the gist of what is happening, and I learned a lot of things about different verb tenses in french. Tonight I also did something I have been avoiding since I got here. I unpacked. When I got here, I literally threw my clothes in drawers but for the past week i have been more or less living out of a suitcase. I am so glad I did it, and I now feel like I am finally at home, and here to stay for good.

I am improving quickly, and I hope soon I wont have any more problems with the language. When I shaved my head last year, I thought it was the hardest, but most rewarding thing i've ever done in my life. Everyday here it is like I am shaving my head over and over. There are so many ups and downs, its like a constant roller coaster, but i know i will come off of it a different person.

I'm starting to get comfortable here, so quebec better prepare to have it's socks knocked off!
Carly

Taking risks...

Today was my third day of school, and I finally got settled in. The first thing I did today was go with Julie to the secretary and get my own locker. I was sharing with Julie and her friend before, but considering none of the girls carry purses, it was stuffed! I now share with another exchange student from New Brunswick, but she doesnt really talk.... at least I have my own locker!

My first class of the day today was french, which was actually really good! We read and responded to a newspaper article, and I actually understood! The next class of the day was art. Instead of having class though, the entire school went outside for a school photo. The name of my school was spray painted in huge letters in the parking lot, and all the students of the school stood in the shape of the letters and an arial photo was taken. It was cold outside, and it took a really long time, but I hope the photo turns out well. That would make a great souvenir!

If you know me well, you will never believe what i did today at lunch. I played volleyball. Thats right. I have not played a team sport since grade 6 without having a panic attack, and I played volleyball! Even more surprisingly, I actually enjoyed myself! I went with Julie, and it was very non-competitive scrimmaging. Today it was mostly boys from the lower grades there, which was good because I could hit the ball without feeling totally intimidated! Julie says there is typically more girls, which could be a good way to make friends! It's so weird, because at home, you could not pay me to join the volleyball club, i would be way to scared. Here though, i have so much less to lose and so much more to gain by taking a risk!

After lunch today, i had guitar class, which i am in for good. And guess what? I can now play "jingle bells" and "oh susanna" on the guitar! When the class went to rehearsal rooms to practice, the teacher gave me a one-on-one lesson. I understood completely how to play the guitar, but the teacher spoke so fast and with such a heavy accent, i did not understand a single word. It was so frusterating, i wanted to cry. I thought by now I be able to understand everyone, and it was very discouraging not to be able to communicate with him. I decided though, that instead of crying, i needed to take a risk. So, after class I told Julie I was going to the office to change my timetable, and I would see her later! This was the first time I went anywhere by myself in the school, and typically, when i needed help Julie would ask for me. I was very proud of the conversation I had with the secretary, and I then went to my new math teacher and introduced myself and explained my situation all by myself! Because things are so much harder here, I take so much more pride in the small victories, like walking to the office alone. Celebrating the small victories will keep me going for the rest of my time here!

With my new-found confidence, I made small conversation with people around me in math, and I was very happy that I understood most of the lesson! Tonight, I was by myself in the house, and It was so nice to have some time alone. With people around all the time, I need to be "on" all the time. I need to be trying to speak and think in french, follow the conversation, and come across as polite and kind! It is exhausting, but today was the first day my body started to fall into pattern. I have been constantly tired, hungry, thirsty and sick for the past 4 days, just because there is so much change, and it is so nerve-wracking.

Because it is so hard to follow conversations, I spend an increased amount of time observing people. Here is my continued list of in/out.....

In

*Eiffel Towers (on posters, necklaces, keychain, t-shirts; they are everywhere)

*Chalkboards! ( there are no whiteboards in this school!)

*highlighters (it is so nice to be in a class where every single person appreciates the importance of color-coding your notes as much as I do)

*Belt Buckles (all different sorts and sizes of belt buckles can be seen poking out of the jeans of almost everyone)

*Lunchkits! (they're not just for nerds anymore....)

Out

*Computers in the classroom (none of the teachers have personal computers)

*Cell phones (because so few people have phones, it is so easy to get away with texting)

*Emu/Ugg boots ( i have seen maybe 4 people wearing them)

*Leaving class for the washroom (not a single person had done it once...)

***Another little fun-fact for you... upon entering your house, you say "yo." I don't know why, and I dont know where that comes from, but it is the appropriate way to greet your family upon arriving home.

My first week is almost over, and everyday is getting easier. Celebrating the small successes keeps me motivated and encouraged. I am doing my absolute best to milk this opportunity for everything it is worth, and I know that even if I learn no french, or make no friends, this is an opportunity to grow as a person. After 4 days, I have learned so much about myself and other people, and I can feel myself maturing by the second. I know my time here will fly by, and I want to savor every moment while I can.

Everyday is what you make it,

Carly

I could get used to this...

Today was my second day, and it was so much easier than the first! The big school wasn't as much of a shock, and i think things might finally be in perspective. Today i went to the office to have my timetable changed to some different classes, so by tomorrow, i should be on my feet ready to go!!

Today at school was not very eventful. I am trying to make new friends, but i'm sure you cannot even begin to understand how hard it is. People are so quick to write you off because you're french isnt good. I need friends so badly right now, things would be so much easier if i had people i could confide in and go to for help. Julie is so amazing, but i know i am a huge burden on her, and i want to do my best to make my own friends. After feeling how i've felt, i will never EVER give-up on a person again. I wish so badly someone (other than julie) would go out of their way to be kind to me. People ask me where i'm from, and it's like as soon as they hear my accent they think "okay, exchange student, doesnt speak french well, waste of time." It sounds worse then it is though, I hang out mostly with Julies friends, and they are very kind to me. I know making friends in a new place takes a lot of patience, and i will not give up! There are a few people i could see as potential friends, which gives me hope!

At lunch today I had choir, and it was very good! We were singing to songs that were in english, that i had sung before! It felt so good to be in my comfort zone, and be good at something!  I also had a really neat class called "Ethics/culture/religion." Its a critical thinking class, and it is very interesting. It is also a very good enviroment to make friends, because you are having small group discussions. Unfortunatley, there is a 9 day school cycle, and i only have this class twice in nine days!

After school, i went to see the movie "he's just not that into you" (in french) with julie and her friend. The movie was long and complicated, and they spoke so fast, i didnt understand a thing! I did ask the man at the ticket booth for my ticket though, and it was exciting because he understood me! Afterwords, i played some wii fit with Julie and her family. It is so fun, and it makes me so happy to do things with the family! (PS. Mum, if you're reading this, can we please get a wii???)

So far this trip has been a very good experience for me. It is difficult, but i am very happy here. Things are going very well, and already i have grown so much as a person and learned so much! I miss home, and that is hard, but 3 months will go by fast, so i dont want to spend my time dwelling on things i cant change!

I'm staying Strong,

Carly

First day, play-by-play

so last night i typed an entire huge entry about the first day of school. My internet then cut out as i was saving it, and the entire thing was lost! so now i will recap the entire day for you, play-by-play style.

The morning walk to school was absolutley beautiful! The weather was so nice and there is a huge mountain close by. I barely noticed though, because i was so nervous!! And i had a good reason to be nervous... the school is so different and HUGE! There are 3 floors, and barely any room to walk anywhere. My first class of the day was art. The class was pretty good, the teacher taught an art history lesson, which i didnt understand much of. The most interesting part was the teacher herself... she was wearing jeans and a bliiabong tshirt, with black and blue long hair! I thought she was a student at first, and the students call teachers by their first names, so i then double thought she was a student. The teacher then asked the class to draw lines on a piece of paper to describe how we were feeling. I didnt know the instructions at that time, so i drew circles, and she put my paper on the board as an example of what joy looks like!
Between each class, there is a 15 minute break. I would enjoy this in my school at home, but in this school, there is nothing to do besides stand by your locker and get trampled by people.....
Next class was guitar, which i think i might drop out of, considering i dont play the guitar! It was a neat class, and again, the teacher was very cool. In this class, a boy asked me where i was from, and when i replied "winnipeg" he said something along the lines of... "youre egyptian!! whoa!" I tried to tell him i am not egyptian, but he wouldnt listen. Now half of that class thinks i am from egypt. maybe its a good thing i am switching out....
Next was lunch. Lunch class was an hour and a half, and again there was not much to do. I sat with Julie and her friends and tried to follow the conversation, but the accents are so thick and they speak so fast, it was difficult! I did notice alot of things about the people in the cafeteria, and here they are in the form of an in/out list...

In

* Piercings (everyone has them. I have never seen so many different and unique facial piercings in my life)
*Jeans (teachers and students wear them all the time)
*Ponytails (it blew my mind how many girls were wearing them.....)
*Boots with heels ( my blue suede boots in winnipeg would be well appreciated here)

Out

* Driving to school (there are always like 100 buses in the parking lot. Thats right, the school bus is once again cool)
*Purses ( I saw 3 girls carrying purses all day)
*Leggings ( Dont worry. I'll bring them back...)

Thats all i can think of for now. everything here is just so different!! Also during lunch, i made the mistake of going to the washroom.... The washrooms are about 5 times the size of the school washrooms in winnipeg, and they are always full of people! I tried to get into a stall, and girls would push past me right in front of the door!!

After lunch was math. I was actually looking forward to this, because i thought i might just be able to sit in the back and blend in. No such luck. The teacher singled me out several times, because i didnt have the right calcultator!! I did make a good conversation with a boy in my class though. Which i am proud of!
Finally we had french class, in which i didnt do anything because we had a substitute teacher! The walk home from school was really nice, because Julie and I had a very good conversation. It was the first conversation ive had with anyone, where i was not searching for words or just smiling and nodding. I improved so much already today, I am very excited!

The day was long and difficult, but i am glad it is over with. At night, i went skating with julie's mum and little sister. The skating trail was very nice, and of course, they had celine dion music playing!

I made it through the first day, so i can make it through anything!

Carly

Lost in translation....

Successfully made it through the my first full day in frenchland, with the exception of one minor hiccup ( a phone call from home was a bad idea!! ). Today was very busy, and I wasted no time immersing myself in culture! We went out for breakfast this morning, and there are so many bizzare details. Like i asked the waitress for "un jus d'orange", and she had no idea what i was talking about! Julie repeated what i said, but said "jdorange" as one word extremely fast, and the waitress knew what she was talking about! Another little food fact, with any breakfast you order, it comes with a small cup of beans in sauce... it was weird. Other weird thing about Quebec, i knew there was alot of snow, but mon dieu, there is alot of snow! It reaches almost up to the roofs of the houses, and all the driveways have tents over them, because there is too much snow to shovel!

We then took the bus to Quebec city and went to the carnival. The ice sculptures were amazing, and we took a tour of the ice hotel! We also took a horse-drawn carrige ride down to the plains of abraham and saw the river. Later, we went to old Quebec and visited the stores. There are so many, and they are all in these quaint old buildings! The city really is so beautiful and amazing!!

Today was difficult though because it was the first time i have fully been immersed in french. It is so weird, because everything around me is going on in french and i am thinking mostly in english, but about what to say in french. As a result, i dont even know if the words i am saying are french or english! It is so weird even to be typing now, thinking 100% english. It was also really weird when we were in the city to have to put so much trust in others. Because I have no idea what is going on, i need to trust the horse driver will take us back, and i need to trust that when Julie motions for me to follow her down into a creepy parkade, we will pop out on the other side! Putting so much trust in others is not something i am used to, because i am such an independant person, but hopefully my french will soon be good enough to be able to fend for myself!

Tomorrow is my first day of school, and i am so scared. I am nervous first, about my french. It is improving vastly, and i am confident speaking around julie and her family, but to make new friends is a terrifying idea. I dont really have a choice though! It is exhausting to "put yourself out there" all the time, but it is the only way to make new friends. Thats one of the things i have learned already on this trip. You can't afford to put up walls, because people will not have the patience to take them down. You need to give everything you have right away, and hope it is enough to interest people. 

Wish me luck for tomorrow, I know i have the strength to get through it! I have faith in people, and i know if i tear down my walls, people will welcome me into their lives with open arms and hearts!

Carly

PS. Kirsten, I dont know if you're reading this, but Numbers 6:24-26 helps me get through every moment of every day. Knowing i have someone on my side is so reassuring. Thank you!!

Oh, Hey there Quebec!

After months of planning, weeks of stressing, days of packing, hours of goodbyes, and a few more hours stuck in a plane, i am finally here. Finally here. I cant even believe it. Things here are amazing though, the family i am staying with is so sweet and accomodating. After arriving and unpacking, we had pizza for dinner ( no biggie, they eat it with forks and knives???) and then i met some of my homestay sisters friends. This was the most trying part of the day.

 They are loud, bubbly, and nice, but they speak french very VERY fast. It was so hard to understand what they were saying! Its weird though, because within the first five minutes of meeting them, i had a bit of a revelation. I came to Quebec thinking, i want to be cool. I want to make awesome friends, and go to sick parties. Upon meeting these people, i instantly realized, that i am taking a huge leap into unknown waters here, and the only thing that can get me through is friends. It doesnt matter if these friends are "cool" or if they're not beautiful, i just need friends to help me through. At that moment i realized i need to stop judging and start accepting. This being said, the people i met are awesome! They made such an effort to include me, and they invited me to their valentines party on friday!

 I am excited about this, and my dad told me that the best way to not get homesick and lonley is to have little things to look forward to. The dance is one of those little things! Another thing i am totally pumped for is tomorrow. We are headed into old quebec to go see the carnival, and i am so pumped! Today was a long and hard day, but i know things will only get easier, and considering how good today was, i have an amazing three months to look forward to! 

I am so proud of the way i put myself out there today. You honestly have no idea how scary it is to teach people how to say "awesome possum," and listen to them laugh and chatter about it, not having a clue what they are thinking or saying. I know i made a good impression though, and I know i have the strength and courage to make this trip amazing. From the hello kitty bubblebath in their washroom, to the crazy pose i did in front of everyone on the Wii, everything today was amazing. I feel welcome and loved, and i am so excited.

Dream. Explore. Discover.

Carly.

Holy Crap. Tomorrow.

It's times like right now, when i wonder what the fuck i have gotten myself into. The only emotions running through my head right now are fear and sadness. I just changed my phone number to a quebec area code, and that was the first time it hit me that i am leaving. I thought maybe it would hit me tomorrow in the airport, but no such luck. The fact that i'm leaving hits me harder as I vacuum my room, as i make goodbye phone calls. I prided myself on the fact that i was excited for this adventure, but i am so scared. Terrified. I cant stop tears anymore, and i am dwelling in the fact that tomorrow will be my first supper in a new place. Sunday will be my first breakfast, and monday will be my first day at a new school!! Today and tomorrow are a day of lasts. Last sleep, last family dinner. But Sunday and monday are days of firsts. I need to understand and appreciate that the lasts are not forever. I will be back, but the firsts are firsts. So the firsts need to be weighed heavier than the lasts. I need to be more excited than upset. I'm trying my best, but you have no idea how hard it is to leave behind everything. My family, my friends, my dog. I will miss them so much. I know i will be okay though. In my heart of hearts, i know that this will be the adventure, change and time for growth that i crave from life.

Everything is going to be okay.

One breath, one step at a time.

Carly

3 days until takeoff.

I've spent all day packing and getting ready to go, and it is finally hitting me that in 3 days, I am out of here. I am signed up with a program to go live and "study" in Quebec city from febuary-may. I leave on saturday, and I am getting nervous. I will miss everyone here so much. I have a sweet boyfriend, and absolutley amazing friends. On monday night, they hosted the perfect going away surprise party, which caught me so off guard! It was so fun, and i was glad to get to see everyone together one last time before i leave. I am so excited, and i know this will be the adventure of a lifetime. I will keep you posted as I prepare to leave and arrive in Quebec!

Love Love

Carly (with  french accent..... Jk)