Never A Write- Off

Wednesday March 18, 09
Today was kind of a weird day. I had my “spare” first period, which always sets things of to a rocky start because I am thinkning in English all class. I finished my online project, which I was happy about and got a head start on next week’s coursework. I have good timeline to finish both my online English and Gym before I get home, and it feels good to be well underway to accomplish that goal.
After my spare, I had economy in which I had a good conversation with the teacher when I asked him to fill out my evaluation (I was right yesterday, my other teachers are so much easier on me than my math teacher was, Straight A’s!). He said my French had improved so much, and I understood everything he said! It’s funny, because out of all my teachers, I find him the hardest to understand, because he has such a thick accent, so I have improved the most in my comprehension in that class.
At lunch today was another birthday, and we all wore party hats and sang. Remember when I put “Birthday’s” on my “In” list? I was not exaggerating. Everyone goes all out for birthdays here. When I get home, there will never be another birthday that goes unnoticed!
After that I went back to the library, but couldn’t concentrate on my work. Two hours of individual work time is too much in a day, and I think the next time I have a library spare in the day, I will do something else at lunch. Because I was bored today at lunch, I went down to the International Guidance office, and asked the woman if there was anyway I would be able to get some volunteer hours while I was here. I asked her if maybe I could tutor English to some of the younger kids one or two times a week, and she said that would be a great idea. She then wrote down my name and told me shed come find me next week when she had some details. She made it very easy, and I wish had have asked her a long time ago… I wont be able to get that many hours in six weeks. At least it will be more volunteer hours than I had before!
After lunch was gym and we were in the training center. It’s difficult, because I don’t want to be lifting weights at school when I am training outside of school. It’s not good to mix programs, and get the days all mixed up. Instead I had a good conversation with the exchange student from Germany. I am sad because she is leaving next week. We started out talking about general stuff, but when we started talking about other things like our boyfriends and families, we switched to English. I feel bad that I cheated, and I know I'm only cheating myself by speaking English, but there was just so much I wanted and needed to say built up inside of me, I had to let it out!
Math last period was not good. We are learning about Log, and I do not understand a thing. Honestly, absolutely nothing makes sense to me. This hasn’t really bothered me too much before, because my grades don’t matter here, but we have a quiz on Monday and a test on Wednesday. Even though my mark isn’t important, I feel terrible not trying. I know there is absolutely no way I will be able to get over 20% on these tests, and I don’t want to become a “Write- off”. I think the teacher has given up on me, and I have pretty much given up too. If I wanted to start applying myself in that class, I wouldn’t know where to start because the material is so far over my head. Today’s class was just frustrating, and I don’t want to waste another 30 hours of my life sitting there doodling. I need to do something about the situation, but I honestly have no idea what. I cant apply myself, because it is just way to freaking hard, I cant change classes, because joining another class with only six weeks left would be a waste of time too and sitting there not really doing anything is just not working for me!
Tonight after school I went for a run at the gym, and went to a (this is embarrassing) step class. It was really hard, and I'm sure I looked like a total fool, but I had fun. I would also like to mention, I think that Quebec City could possibly be the cougar capital of the world. I thought I was in the class with a bunch of twenty year olds, but upon close examination, I realized I was probably the only person in the room under the age of 30! All these women were tanned, toned and blonde! It was really bizarre… but is encouraging me to attend another step class. Even though they’re like 40, these women were hot!
Tomorrow, I am getting a haircut, which I have to admit I am nervous for. First, because I’m not sure I’ll be able to explain what I want, and Second, because I haven’t had a haircut I liked since…. Grade seven maybe?? My hair is just being stupid though, and I need to get it cleaned up a little bit. I think a little bit of change could be good too! All my days are starting to seem the same and I think a change is what I need, even if it is only my hair.
Right now, I am counting down the days until April 6th. April 6th is the day I start the final sprint of my run. If I can make it to April 6th I will be okay. Speaking of being okay… One of the boys here from PEI is going home six weeks early. He was just… not okay here. He didn’t like it, and like me, felt like he was wasting time in all his classes. Unlike me, he actually had work to do at school at home he was missing out on. I think no matter how bad things were for me, I would never consider going home early as an option. Honestly, I think I just have too much pride. Going home early would be a major failure, and everyone made such a big deal about me leaving, I wouldn’t want to let them down. Even though the next week or two will be hard, going home is not an option, I've stuck it this far, and I'm going right until the end! Today marked my half way point, and there is no point now turning around. I'm as close to the end as I am to the beginning, and only getting closer everyday. I'm not worried. Things are going good, and when I do reach the finish line, I will have the privilege of looking back on the best experience of my life!

Going right to the end,
Carly