How much longer is left in this marathon?

Monday, March 23, 09
Today was a really… bizarre day. It started out really well. First thing in the morning I had a math quiz. I'm pretty sure I failed it, as it was on Log, which I haven’t learned in English yet. It was good though, because I didn’t leave a single question blank, I honestly tried my best, so even if I end up getting zero, I would get an A for effort! After that, I made a list of reasons that this week was going to be a beautiful week. Just little things in my day every day that I can look forward too!
Next period was French, in which we had a reading period. I haven’t had enough time to be reading my twilight book at home, and at school we are reading The Alchemist. Since I haven’t been reading that much, I had forgotten how much I like reading in French, and how much it helps me with the language. I am really going to make more of an effort to keep reading.
At lunch I got my project finished for online English. I am making such good progress, I know I will be able to get it done before I come home, which is exciting, because I am hoping when I get home there will be way too many distractions for me to even think about my online courses!!
In the afternoon, had economy first in which we started planning projects. I am making a poster with Julie, Blonde Emilie, a girl that intimidates the shit out of me, and another boy. I honestly have no idea what the poster is on. It was kind of funny though, because I was talking to the boy in our group, and he said “so you understand French now” and when I said yes, he pumped his fists and smiled. It was a little bit weird, and all I could do was laugh.
Last period I had economy, in which I started to get wrestles. All day, I had been working hard to keep my mind in Quebec, and not wondering off somewhere else. This was going well until we continued watching Indiana Jones in Religion. I was too tired to focus, and my thoughts wondered home. I have found I get homesick when I am bored or tired, so the last class of the day got the best of me.
That night I walked to the gym. Usually Monday is my day off, but since I am going to miss Wednesday for the diploma ceremony, I bumped up my schedule. This was not a good idea. The gym is always packed on Mondays, and tonight was no exception, so I had to do my workout first. It was not a good workout, and right away I got myself into the mentality that it was not going to be a good run. And it was not. It was probably the worst run I've had since I started training. My head was just saying “NO” to every step I took. I ended up quitting, and had a huge breakdown. I came home and cried like you wouldn’t believe in the shower. I have always used running as a metaphor for my time here, and the fact that I quit my run was not encouraging. Now I'm ready for bed and it is 7:30. Tonight was not good, but I am hoping that I cried everything out. All my homesickness and negativity. I hope that it is gone for good, and tomorrow will be a fresh start.

Every moment is new. Never let past failures affect your ability to live each moment to its maximum. Because you failed last time does not mean you don’t have the power to succeed this time.
Carly